Photo by specphotops on Unsplash
Dear Valued Customers,
It has come to our attention that you may be underestimating the power of our wares. That you might not be giving our pens the credit they deserve as everyday survival items. And that would be a real injustice, both to you and to our products. So we’re here to set the record straight: you can find bazillions of household survival items on our website, if you think about our products the right way.
Our customers already say that Pens.com products can “save their lives” in a figurative sense. Like when they need a rush order of custom pens to take to a last-minute networking event. Or when their bosses task them with finding the perfect promotional item to grow visibility for their unique brands. In such cases, our customers often tell us, “You’re a lifesaver!”
And while we truly appreciate their enthusiastic gratitude, we (of course) understand that we’re really only saving their reputations, or maybe their jobs. Important, yes. Actually life-saving? Not so much.
But did you know that a pen could literally be used to save your life? That’s right, folks: we’re talking pens for survival here.
If you’re not accustomed to thinking of pens as everyday survival items, you’ve clearly not perused the countless Internet guides on how to make a survival whistle out of a basic pen. See? No need to worry about getting lost in the woods–all you need is a good old Value Stick Pen and you’re homeward bound in no time.
Or you could use one of our custom pens to play solo tic-tac-to and stave off the crazies while you hunker down in that cave and wait for the rescuers your whistle has summoned. Or maybe a good, pointy pen could be employed to blind the Sasquatch that wanders into said cave, giving you time to make a break for it. Now that we’ve got the ball rolling, we’re sure your head is filled with more ideas of how pens could be used to help you survive.
It’s not just our pens that could be instrumental in saving your life. We offer lots of survival items, all of which arrive customized to represent your brand, cause, or team. Because even when a client or prospect of yours is in a fight-or-flight situation, it’s still an opportunity to make yourself look fantastic.
Take, for example, our customized flashlights and utility knives. No-brainer everyday survival items for sure. Just like our blankets, first-aid kits, and multi-tools. And our sticky notes, calendars, and golf balls.
Sure, you might need to get a little creative to figure out to properly utilize these household survival items. But, really, that’s on you. After all, it’s our job to sell cool pens and promotional products.
In Solidarity and Wishing you Happy Trails,
PS: If you aren’t prepared to stop a rushing mama grizzly with a fidget spinner (hint: think throwing star), then we don’t want to go camping with you anyway.
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